How to Handle Daycare Drop-Off Tears (The "Goodbye" Routine)

 

Walking away while your child screams and reaches for you is one of the most heartbreaking moments of parenthood. Separation anxiety peaks around 9–18 months, right when many kids start daycare.

Here is the secret: The tears usually stop 2 minutes after you leave. Here is how to make the exit easier.

1. The "Quick Goodbye" Rule

The longer you linger, the worse it gets.

  • Do: Give a hug, say "I love you, I will be back after snack time," and walk out the door.

  • Don't: Come back for one more hug if they cry. This teaches them that crying brings you back, and they will cry harder next time.

2. Create a Ritual

Kids thrive on predictability. Create a special handshake or a "high-five and a kiss" that you only do at the daycare door. This signals to their brain: This is the transition moment.

3. Don't Sneak Away

Never slip out the door while they are distracted by a toy.

  • Why: When they turn around and realize you are gone, they will panic. It breaks trust. Always say goodbye, even if it causes tears. It teaches them that you are honest and you will return.

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