Relationship Rescue: Keeping Your Marriage Strong After Baby Arrives

 

They call it the "Roommate Phase." You are both exhausted. You are covered in spit-up. The house is a mess. Your conversations used to be about dreams and movies; now they are entirely about poop color, nap schedules, and who bought milk.

It is incredibly common for satisfaction in a marriage to drop during the first year of parenthood. But it doesn't have to stay that way. Here are 3 realistic ways to reconnect that don't require expensive dates or a babysitter.

1. The "10-Minute" Rule

When the baby finally sleeps, it is tempting to zone out on your phone. Instead, try this:

  • Commit to spending 10 minutes a day talking about something other than the baby or household logistics.

  • Ask: "How was your work today?" "What article did you read?" "How are you feeling mentally?"

  • Rule: No talk of diapers, bills, or chores. Just be a couple again for 10 minutes.

2. The Couch Date

You might be too tired to dress up and go out to dinner. That is okay. You can date at home.

  • Once the baby is down for the night, put the phones in another room.

  • Order a pizza, open a bottle of wine (or tea), and watch a movie together.

  • Play a board game.

  • The activity doesn't matter; the intention matters. It signals to your partner, "I still choose you."

3. Divide the Labor Fairly

Resentment is the biggest killer of romance. If one parent feels like they are doing 90% of the work (night wakings, cleaning, cooking), they won't feel intimate; they will feel angry.

  • The Fix: Sit down and list out the chores. Be honest. "I feel like I'm doing all the dishes. Can you take that over?"

  • A well-rested partner who feels supported is a much happier (and more romantic) partner.

Conclusion

Your child needs happy parents more than they need a perfect nursery. Prioritizing your marriage isn't selfish; it is one of the best things you can do for your baby's stability.

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